Ignacio Rodríguez de Rementería


I'm back. The last few days have been a blur. Like these pics taken with a camera that is not really a camera.

Days of too little time. I didn't have time to load Noche en Downtown into my walkman -which is also not really a walkman-... was an old fantasy of mine, to listen to that song while walking through The Village.

Days of cognitive disonance as well: Was friendship really friendship? An inmense and unknown city -supposedly cold and impersonal- received me warmly, while a well known friend gave me the cold shoulder. Cold and warmth, music and friendship, work and feelings, in a totally imperfect mix. A moment which "should" (a word I hate but use... nobody's perfect) have been one of the happiest, turned into a sad one. Somebody I considered a friend was able to look me in the eye and hurt me on purpose. It's dangerous to be around frightened people. I can deal with my own fears, but somebody couldn't deal with their own. Or perhaps what seemed friendship was just not. If it was, it's over. "Tarde o temprano iba a suceder". Something will never be the same again, which might not be such a bad thing after all, but it hurts. I am in peace, I did my best, and the most important thing turned out perfect: the music. All the rest of us is irrelevant.

I see myself in the before and after pics and it seems the first looks nicer.

Lo siento, en el mejor sentido de la frase.

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